We all have our boundaries, and no matter what the topic is, we all have those things that makes us go: “That’s it! I can’t and won’t take this anymore!”. When it comes to your weight, it is easy to forget what those points are.
Therefore, I’m writing this post (mainly for myself), how I got there, and what made me really decide to seriously give all this another go. Please, think about these things for yourself as well. What was it that made you think “That’s it” regarding your weight?
It’s ridiculous how easy it was to become overweight, without really understanding how bad it really was. It started when I was about 19 years old. I remember lying on the bed after having moved in with my ex, seeing myself in the mirror and seeing my tummy grow. At the time I just thought “it’s not that bad, it’s still flat when I’m lying down and pull my arms above my head (as if that is a normal thing you do all the time right?). After that it was more “well, it IS kinda practical to be able to borrow boyfriend’s clothes if I have an unplanned sleepover.”
When my parents started to nag me about it, I just had to be rebellion, and kept telling them, and myself, that I felt better this way. I had more self confidence, I dared to offer more of me around people. Now I realize it was more because I tried to hide my looks.
As you can see in my profile, I’ve been a member on MFP since May 2012. I did a serious try back then, but I didn’t have the support or motivation at the time. I still lived in a situation that pulled me down emotionally, which didn’t help my motivation to continue. I started to slack, and estimate by eye. Which really is impossible. And after losing 5lbs, I found myself at a plateau, and instead of pushing through, I gave up.
Before I started this journey again, I first started to think about all the small things that just added up as with everything else. But once I started to list the things, it all came down to one thing. I was sick of always having to consider those places under all my lard.
For example, I never really lie on my stomach reading anymore, why? Because I was sick of having to lift up my tummy to place my lard in a better spot, where it didn’t feel pinched, or smashed under the rest of me. I was sick of repeatedly having to dry off in all the creases around my body (under tummy, breasts, tires/love handles).
I was sick of not being able to even try dresses I like the style of, because I know those models enhance those love handles, and lard that is hanging out where it shouldn’t. I was sick of feeling people judging me for wanting to have bag of chips, or some chocolate, just cause they think I already have enough extra energy stored in my rings all over me.
I’ve lost about 8lbs (~3.5kg), and I can already feel the difference in my clothes. And just this morning I noticed that I didn’t specifically have to lift my lard to dry it off one extra time, I just had to suck in my stomach a little bit.
That’s the reason I am writing this post today, cause those little things are so easy to get used to, and stop noticing, that you might not remember why you’re doing this. And once you forget those small things, it is much to easy to get back into the excuses, and overseeing what is there.
So do yourself a favor, and write down what really made you sick enough of yourself, or your habits, that made you want to try again for real.